My Fall Fashion Alter Ego reads the New Yorker on cafe terraces, against a backdrop of autumn foliage. She speaks French better than me. She has clear skin, and, like a true cool-girl, her beauty secret is drinking plenty of water. (Ugh.)
Of course, I’m well aware that Fall Fashion Pia is a veneer, a fiction constructed by my irrational perceived shortcomings, etc. I’m pretty cool with my own life, flaws and all. On the other hand, I’ve always been a believer of faking it until I make it – at least in terms of charm, wit, and having-my-life-together-ness.
So while I don’t want to be my Fall Fashion Alter Ego, I do want to dress like her. And as autumn lazily descends on the Peninsula, my mind is on big ambitions and achieving my goals… or at least the semblance of it.
Thus, I present the pieces that I’m coveting for fall, the ones that glamorous Fashion Pia would wear. Sidenote: Fashion Pia has a much bigger budget than Real Pia.
- A roughed-up, vintage faux leather jacket. I will wear this jacket as I battle bounty hunters at the cantina on Tatooine. And when I have taken down my enemies, I will peruse a charming used bookstore in Paris.
- A high-waisted button-down skirt that makes my legs look like two individual giraffes. Growing up, I used to be self-conscious about my gangly frame, but now I find myself just wanting to tower over everyone. I guess I’ve finally grown into my limbs. (Or at least my hunger for power has.)
- Vampy, wine-colored lipstick that insinuates that I can converse about wine. But then again, this is the only kind of Pinot Noir I need in my life.
- A huggable, slouchy black turtleneck. When I put it on on chilly fall mornings, I want to feel like I rolled out of one comforter and into another.
- A black satin camisole, layered underneath a knit cardigan straight out of Fashion Grandpas of Instagram. This look says, “I am too temperature-sensitive to be full-on sexy right now, and that’s just the way I like it.”
- A comically large blanket scarf. I already have this, actually. I used it to cover 75% of my face on days when freezing winds plagued New England. Maybe in San Francisco, I can peek my face out like a chic Fall Fashion gopher coming out of her mound.